share a thought: the pain
What do you do when you have no inkling on getting on the bandwagon? No desire to reach out and be the social person yet want to have a life? What do you do when you judge when you say you don’t? It’s a kerfuffle know?
share a thought: better get ahead of this
It occurred to me yesterday that I’m not that young and if have to still call myself a young person, I have to get with it.
So stopping the whining and whinging. And keeping the eyes open and mind responsive.
share a thought: monkeys in my heart
Keep your head above water but, don’t forget to breathe.
That’s what the song says.
But the monkeys in my heart have other plans.
When will they ever stop? It really hurts.
share a thought: the new gadget in my life
Honestly, I wonder why I didn’t get this iPhone earlier. It has completely changed the way I interact with my environment.
share a thought: starting over
I never thought I’d be at point in my life where I’d feel so lost. I suppose this is what is meant when they say that life has become meaningless or that you have to look for your purpose in life. I surround myself with constant laughter and chatter but I can’t help but feel that certain numbness or lack of emotion that accompanies these heady sensory jaunts that I put myself through. All this in the hope that some day, one day I’ll find the piece of my once-happy heart that I lost.
I stand here looking at the vast open that lies ahead of me and I am afraid. The opportunity to do something unprescribed is in my hands but I fear to take it up. Starting over is hard when there is no blue print for it. No map, no signs and no more mindlessly hurtling through the tunnel, seamlessly moving from one stage of life to another.
And again, two years on I am standing on the edge, getting ready to take the plunge again. But this time it’s going to be for me.
share a thought: courage
I wanted you to see what real courage is, instead of getting the idea that courage is a man with a gun in his hand. It’s when you know you’re licked before you begin, but you begin anyway and see it through no matter what.
– Atticus Finch, To Kill A Mocking Bird
Courage – the oft-carelessly talked about quality whose depths can only be fathomed when life hits you in the face.
share a thought : the conundrum that is the modern woman
over the weekend, i found out that ‘i am at a happier place’ since i have ‘committed myself to a thought process’, thus, making the oft hard decision between career and family, easier.
committing to a thought process. hmm. it sounds rather powerful when you say it that way. especially when in my head, its less positive counterpart seemed to ring true until some time back: resigning to the inevitable. i can say that i have been through all the phases of change: shock, anger, sadness, ambivalence, acceptance and finally, looking for possibilities. and with that in perspective, perhaps my friend is right to say that i have empowered myself by being open-minded and positive about things.
a part of me fears, though. fears that my adaptability and open-mindedness could oppress the individual that is me. am i letting myself down by being malleable and changing to the circumstances? i am by no means a softie but sometimes i doubt myself with my decisions.
(then again, i’m not in anyway, saying that i am unhappy at this moment. i’m very content that things are going along swimmingly. it’s that hazy phase where the realities of life are clouded in the what if’s and the wish you were here’s of our thoughts. a dream-like state which doesn’t really give space for pragmatism.)
but, i know i am not alone. my circumstances might be different but these are questions that every modern woman faces today. it might be especially difficult for those whose cultures are sometimes at odds with the more evolved roles that modern civilisation has for men and women.
the modern indian woman is a good example. standing at the cusp of revolutionary change, she is looking to define herself beyond daughter, wife and mother. i can see this in the eyes of all my indian girl friends. brought up on a rather unhealthy diet of forced conditioning to our traditions and Bollywood movies and soaps, we dream about our princes as we think of how we can escape from the clutches of these traditions. it’s a tough place to be in when we are in conflict with the very things that make up our identity.
so, what’s left?
well, nothing but the vacillating thoughts of a modern woman, who wants everything, doesn’t want to give up anything and still missing that one little something.
share 2 videos : heart’s a mess/just a boy
i have recently been into a lot of indie music. and i found the perfect place to explore new artistes. check out last.fm, an amazing community for people who love music and the best place to discover new, unheard of artistes. the site is chocfull of information on artistes and genres, with preview clips of songs, links to buy in itunes and forums to discuss and ‘heart’ music. lovely lovely. i especially love 2 features on it: the last.fm internet radio & the artistes in your area category. for the latter, after you sign up and input your country where you play from, they inform you of all the various artistes who are in and around your country. neat, know? 😉 and the last.fm radio has been keeping me company at work. all you have to do is type in the name of an artiste you like or any genre you prefer and you get music streaming from that artiste or genre and any other related artistes. it’s really neat and pretty cool.
so prakash introduced me to this awesome brother-sister duo called Julia and Angus Stone. So I played them on last.fm and I found this other gem. Gotye’s Heart’s a Mess. Check out the eerie video and haunting music. Been on loop on my iPod for a bit. Also Angus and Julia Stone’s Just A Boy. Lovely song.
P.S Can’t seem to embed the youtube code. So the links instead.
Just A Boy
share a thought : la vie est quotidienne
i think i know why my dad preaches to me ‘roshni, bring some routine to your life’. for as long as i have known, my dad symbolises work life. it is all clockwork and there is a certain constant hum to his day to day activities, like the ambient noise of the air conditioner. so after nearly a week at work, i feel as though i have been sucked into this unknown place called routine.
wakeup. gym. breakfast. commute. work. lunch. work. teabreak. work. commute. bathe. dinner. tv. sleep
a skip in that rhythm and you are all off kilter. which happened on tuesday and painfully reminded me that time is money and sleep is meant to be lost in the long run. 
share a page : moments from around the world
Updated my page of travels! Not very up to date as I am going from my travels dated April 05 on forth. 🙂
Comments welcome!
The Little Sweatshop of Thoughts 